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He just said,“I’ll call you, we need to talk.” and then he left.“I felt a little more comfortable after Jake left but Ihave to say in all honesty that I was already missinghim. All I know now is that David loves me, at leastthat’s what he is saying. I have strong feelings forDavid but I don’t know if it’s love. Then there’s Jake,the man I believe I really love but am afraid to admitit. The sex with him was pure love for me. I know hereally liked it too but not sure what his deep feelingswere for me.“Time will just have to settle all this for me.”CHAPTER THREEI was back at college and getting back to my dailyroutine. I finally found out that my Alice was mybrother’s girlfriend Veronica. In one sense it was niceto find her and know more about her. The bad side iswhat do I do about it if anything? If she was anyoneelse’s girlfriend other than Dave’s, I would go afterher in a second. That’s why I think I. I had written her several times. I had not told her much about myself, except for the jobs. I hadn't told her that the reason I was working so hard was because I wanted to come to New York and see her, and I wanted to do so more than once. I didn't tell her about my dream, my parents, my loneliness, or anything else about my inner life. I didn't want her to worry. Above all, I didn't want her to see my failings. Therefore, I didn't tell her about the glasses. I didn't tell her that I had not grown taller.Someday, soon, I knew I'd have to ask her if I could see her in New York. I wondered if she would refuse. She was in a truly different world now. Had she fallen in love with someone? Surely, with her looks and her charm, she must have met someone in a big place like New York City. Each time I read her letters, I wondered how much she didn't reveal. I wondered, as I walked through the waxing snowfall that Easter, if, when I asked her about going to see her, she would then be forced to.
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